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Martian · 08-19-2005, 04:31 PM

Oh man, this is practically out of a textbook.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are not homophobic, you are not a closet skinhead or a closet fairy. You just have no experience in the subject and your reaction is a product of your upbringing.

Okay, I'll contradict myself now. I still assert that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, but I will go back on what I said above in that you are highly homophobic in a very literal sense. You're afraid of gay people. So was I at one point. Somewhere in the back of your head while all of that's going on, you're thinking 'what if other people start thinking I'm gay? What if I am gay? What if he hits on me? What if what if what if...' and causing an extremely strong aversion as a result. The reason for this is conflicting messages. We're at once told that we need to be tolerant but simultaneously learn that Gays Are Bad (note the reference someone above made to the negative connotations of the words gay and faggot in middle school and high school) and since you've never met a real example to help resolve the conflict you don't know how to deal with it.

My advice, just deal with it. You're not doing anything out of the ordinary and you have nothing to worry about. I'd even put money on you having met a gay person already but not knowing it. Once you've met someone whom you know is gay and seen that he's just a regular guy apart from liking cock you'll be fine.

A former drinking buddy of mine was thoroughly gay and also a cross dresser. That was my eye-opener. At first I was uncomfortable, but eventually I was actually going to his shows at the local gay bar (always with a date to fend off unwanted attention). I went from there to spending a year living with two gay roommates. You find out that there's nothing wrong with it and then you can safely put it aside, just like you do guys who are into asian chicks or red hair or whatever else.

And one more quick aside; the reaon you're cool with lesbians is because it doesn't have the same social stigma. Picture yourself at your local sports bar and imagine what the crowd's reaction would be if two chicks started making out. Now imagine if it were two guys. I'd put money on your picturing two very different reactions.

EDIT - Minor typos and phrasing.

08-19-2005, 04:31 PM	#21 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Oh man, this is practically out of a textbook. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not homophobic, you are not a closet skinhead or a closet fairy. You just have no experience in the subject and your reaction is a product of your upbringing. Okay, I'll contradict myself now. I still assert that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, but I will go back on what I said above in that you are highly homophobic in a very literal sense. You're afraid of gay people. So was I at one point. Somewhere in the back of your head while all of that's going on, you're thinking 'what if other people start thinking I'm gay? What if I am gay? What if he hits on me? What if what if what if...' and causing an extremely strong aversion as a result. The reason for this is conflicting messages. We're at once told that we need to be tolerant but simultaneously learn that Gays Are Bad (note the reference someone above made to the negative connotations of the words gay and faggot in middle school and high school) and since you've never met a real example to help resolve the conflict you don't know how to deal with it. My advice, just deal with it. You're not doing anything out of the ordinary and you have nothing to worry about. I'd even put money on you having met a gay person already but not knowing it. Once you've met someone whom you know is gay and seen that he's just a regular guy apart from liking cock you'll be fine. A former drinking buddy of mine was thoroughly gay and also a cross dresser. That was my eye-opener. At first I was uncomfortable, but eventually I was actually going to his shows at the local gay bar (always with a date to fend off unwanted attention). I went from there to spending a year living with two gay roommates. You find out that there's nothing wrong with it and then you can safely put it aside, just like you do guys who are into asian chicks or red hair or whatever else. And one more quick aside; the reaon you're cool with lesbians is because it doesn't have the same social stigma. Picture yourself at your local sports bar and imagine what the crowd's reaction would be if two chicks started making out. Now imagine if it were two guys. I'd put money on your picturing two very different reactions. EDIT - Minor typos and phrasing. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame Last edited by Martian; 08-19-2005 at 04:33 PM..