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sadistikdreams · 08-18-2005, 09:57 PM

I'm going to challenge myself by making this entry flow smoothly without any "um"s, or "uh"s, or anything thing of that matter.

I've started to realize that I am starting to lose my sense of self. Which, in a way, I think is totally rad. The universe is letting me start over, although my personality will probably stay the same. On the inside, I just don't know who I am, or I don't feel like me.

So I got to thinking. Enlightenment? Out of body experience? Really really good pot?

I sometimes feel that I can transend my physical form, if only for an instant.

Now, I wish I could become one of those monks, giving up everything and living in an abbey or whatever. But I can't. I have school. I have responsibilities. I have obligations. I have friends and family that I love. More than anything. More than myself.

Maybe is enlightenment a selfish thing? I can't find any evidence saying that it makes the world a better place. Only that the individual gets is place in heaven/placement back into "god".

While writing this, I've realized that, while I would like to reach enlightenment/transend my body, I would rather put my physical body to use to help the people I love, even the ones I don't, by that I mean the people I don't know.

Or, maybe, can I do both?

08-18-2005, 09:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	I didn't know where to post this, but I felt it was important. I'm going to challenge myself by making this entry flow smoothly without any "um"s, or "uh"s, or anything thing of that matter. I've started to realize that I am starting to lose my sense of self. Which, in a way, I think is totally rad. The universe is letting me start over, although my personality will probably stay the same. On the inside, I just don't know who I am, or I don't feel like me. So I got to thinking. Enlightenment? Out of body experience? Really really good pot? I sometimes feel that I can transend my physical form, if only for an instant. Now, I wish I could become one of those monks, giving up everything and living in an abbey or whatever. But I can't. I have school. I have responsibilities. I have obligations. I have friends and family that I love. More than anything. More than myself. Maybe is enlightenment a selfish thing? I can't find any evidence saying that it makes the world a better place. Only that the individual gets is place in heaven/placement back into "god". While writing this, I've realized that, while I would like to reach enlightenment/transend my body, I would rather put my physical body to use to help the people I love, even the ones I don't, by that I mean the people I don't know. Or, maybe, can I do both? __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.