Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Martian
And having said that, might I suggest you look into self defence classes, not with an eye towards using them but more for the knowledge that you can if you have to? Confidence shows through and if you're confident in your abilities to defend yourself, people are going to assume you can defend yourself. The catch is that you really have to believe it, which means you actually have to be able to follow through if it becomes necessary. Odds on are that you'd never use the techniques they show you, but knowing how to is all it takes.
|
The bolded part here seems to be the key.
There's an ancient myth that seems relevant. A great treasure was located at the end of a very long canyon. The entrance to the canyon was guarded by two large stone statues. These statues were magical, and would crush anyone attempting to go between them who feared them, who believed in their magic. If a man could pass between them without fearing they would crush him, they would remain still. One of the bad guys tries to pass between them, has a moment of doubt, and is crushed. The hero manages to pass them without incident.
This has never made sense to me. You cannot simply unknow something. Once you know the magic statues are going to crush you, you have given up any possibility of passing them unharmed.
I happen to know for a fact that most men would find me easy prey, that the average man with no training is physically capable of causing me great physical harm with very little risk of serious harm to himself, and there's simply no way for me to unknow that, because it's an empirical fact. I can't project an aura of confidence because I'm not confident in such a situation, and I'm not confident in such a situation because I know that I'm easy prey. And that lack of confidence is part of what makes me easy prey. I get that, I understand how it works.
But until you can change the fact that I'm easy prey for a predator, the rest of that logic stays in place. The only way to really fix the situation is not to be in it in the first place, and as I've said, I don't put myself in those situations anymore.
The incident at the mall was completely different. There was no danger of my being attacked or raped, and I had no reason to suspect that anyone in that store would try to fondle me. Now that I know better, I'll simply not go in there any more. Sure, I'm missing out on something that I enjoy, but if I had to go in there tying to monitor the movements of the other customers and being prepared to defend myself, I wouldn't be enjoying myself anyway. In either case, that place is ruined for me, so I might as well just avoid the bad feelings in the first place and not go there.
Think of the Battle of Long Island. Yes, the Patriots defended themselves against an overwhelming force of British soldiers for a while, but when it became apparent that there was no chance to win, they retreated under the cover of fog. By retreating from a superior foe, they lived to fight again.
When faced with a superior foe whom you know will win, retreat is by far the better option, the one I'm best suited for, and the one I chose here.
Quote:
|
Failing that, try to have an escort where possible.
|
I do.
Quote:
|
It's terrible that you'd need such a deterrent and I hate what it says about my fellow men, but if that's what it takes, so be it. Your personal safety is paramount and this sort of assault is a breach of that.
|
Well, I was upset and had my feeling hurt, but safety was never really an issue. It would have been if I'd hit him and he hadn't backed off but instead retaliated. By handling things the way I did, I protected myself as best I could. Given my physical prowess, running away is by far the best option in a potential physical confrontation.
Gilda