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Old 08-17-2005, 07:50 AM   #40 (permalink)
lurkette
My future is coming on
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
I'm thinking along those lines, and the rest of the posts that I've read here. I've come up with, I have to look at my beat up face every morning in the mirror when I wake up, and I have to see it every night before I go to bed. I am reminded of it EVERY DAY and in multiple hours throughout the day via all the reflections I noticed of myself in EVERYTHING from glass, televisions, mirrors, chrome, standing water, heck just even people staring at me because of the scars on my face...
OK, this is not exactly the same situation, but...

I live every day without my brother. I see his picture, I think about him all the time. The kid who hit him probably thinks about it once in a while. It makes a difference to me to know that I gave him (the kid who killed my brother) some peace by forgiving him. Would we have been within our rights as a family to sue him? Absolutely. What would that have done to him? Made him feel guilty? Made him bitter and resentful? Made him curse my brother and my family? Taught him a lesson about driving responsibly? Maybe. Wouldn't have brought my brother back. It makes a lot more difference to me to know that I brought love and peace and forgiveness to the situation instead of retaliation and anger. A random act - deliberate, negligent, accidental - throws the world out of balance for the 'victim' of the action. There's more than one way to bring the world back into balance. As long as you are still angry at the person, you are still a victim. Or, as ratbastid says "you've taken the poison but you're waiting for them to die."
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