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Originally Posted by Elphaba
Gilda, am I correct in stating that you have been seriously victimized by men in the past? Not a bump, brush, or inappropriate touching, but physical assault? If this is true, you may carry yourself in a "fearful" way when alone and in the presence of men.
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This has happened to me and until I realized what I was doing, I was constantly assaulted by guys. It hasn't happened much since I have been working on self-confidence.
However, I have a similar situation at my job. There is a woman who would 'accidently' grab my breast. At first, I thought that maybe it truly was an accident. She would trip and try to catch herself, but miss my arm. But, then she would get to where she would point to something on my computer screen and brush/linger past my breast. The last time she did it she was admiring my necklace, of course I think it was more my breasts. I started to avoid her. It was a very uncomfortable situation because it didn't seem like enough to complain about, but is was noticeable. One day I was talking to another colleague and this woman had been doing the same thing to her.
I am not overly sensitive of being touched. I am good at being the victim and also thinking that maybe I did do something to provoke it. I can be quite friendly (which to most equals flirty) and maybe I do ask for it. However, part of me says that it doesn't matter, I was violated and that is wrong.
As for why you, Gilda, and not Gracie or Sissy, I am not sure if there is a simple answer to that. You said that you were alone and Sissy went off with a group. I think that alone women get triggered more than women in a group. I was assaulted in a library because I was alone. I think that any girl that would have been down there alone would have met the same fate that I did. Circumstances, self-esteem, body language, and other factors can be taken into account. But sometimes, men are just jerks and can't control themselves. You unfortunately have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time imo.