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uncle phil · 05-21-2003, 03:01 AM

DP Man
(sung to the tune "Piano Man" by Billy Joel)

It's eight o'clock on a Monday,
The programming crowd staggers in,
There's a user by my terminal,
With drool running off of his chin.
He says, "Son, can you code me some processing,
I'm not really sure what I want,
But it's short and it's sweet and it's NP-complete
And it has to be finished by lunch."

Chorus:

They say, "Write us some code, you're the DP man,
Write us some code today,
'Cause we need this report for the CEO,
And he wants it by yesterday."

Now, Tim at the console's a friend of mine,
He bumps up my priority,
And he'll bum me a smoke or some Twinkies and Coke,
But there's someplace that he'd rather be.
He said, "Paul, I believe it's a dead-end here,"
As the smile ran away from his face,
"But I'm sure I could find work with IBM,
If I could get out of this place."

Now, Mark is a frustrated racing man,
Whose license is riding on luck,
And he's talking with Jeff who scares mopeds to death,
With those forty-inch tires on his truck.
Well, it's pretty good code for a Monday,
And my team leader gives me a smirk,
'Cause he knows that it's me they'll be coming to see,
When they find out that it didn't work.

And the keyboard, it clicks like a tickertape
And the CRT screams like a jet,
And they walk by my cube and throw pens at my tube,
And say, "Man, ain't they fixed that thing yet ?"
And the old hands are screaming to standardize,
As the patches and kludges pile up,
'Cause this place is a hacker's own paradise:
It's a string-handling-in-Fortran shop.

05-21-2003, 03:01 AM	#67 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	DP Man (sung to the tune "Piano Man" by Billy Joel) It's eight o'clock on a Monday, The programming crowd staggers in, There's a user by my terminal, With drool running off of his chin. He says, "Son, can you code me some processing, I'm not really sure what I want, But it's short and it's sweet and it's NP-complete And it has to be finished by lunch." Chorus: They say, "Write us some code, you're the DP man, Write us some code today, 'Cause we need this report for the CEO, And he wants it by yesterday." Now, Tim at the console's a friend of mine, He bumps up my priority, And he'll bum me a smoke or some Twinkies and Coke, But there's someplace that he'd rather be. He said, "Paul, I believe it's a dead-end here," As the smile ran away from his face, "But I'm sure I could find work with IBM, If I could get out of this place." Now, Mark is a frustrated racing man, Whose license is riding on luck, And he's talking with Jeff who scares mopeds to death, With those forty-inch tires on his truck. Well, it's pretty good code for a Monday, And my team leader gives me a smirk, 'Cause he knows that it's me they'll be coming to see, When they find out that it didn't work. And the keyboard, it clicks like a tickertape And the CRT screams like a jet, And they walk by my cube and throw pens at my tube, And say, "Man, ain't they fixed that thing yet ?" And the old hands are screaming to standardize, As the patches and kludges pile up, 'Cause this place is a hacker's own paradise: It's a string-handling-in-Fortran shop. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.