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She is an aduly legally, and you and your wife had no business telling anyone else, family included, in my eyes.
You're being treated like an outsider because you are one. Obviously their family does things differently than yours did/does, and if that's how they want to go about it you just have to sit by and let them. You can't tell her parents how to do their parenting, obviously you think they've done something right as you married their daughter.
How do you know she's lying? The court hasn't even decided that yet. She could be telling the truth, even if it doesn't sound like it.
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