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It depends on context for me- why they're being violent, if they were hit first, and if there is a more acceptable way to deal with it. Of course I'm disgusted by men who repeatedly hit, intimidate and physically abuse their partner. But I'd feel the same way if a woman was violent towards her partner in that way, since that can be equally humiliating and frightening.
If a woman attacks a man without very good reason (e.g. attempted assault, etc), I wouldn't say he was wrong to hit her back in self defence, but I would think it better if he tried to restrain her first if it's possible. Not out of chivalry or because it's excusable just because she's a woman, but because I'd find violence wrong, and I'd think it better for anyone to try to stop a fight if they were capable of restraining the other person. But if there's no good reason for him being attacked, or if he can't restrain her without risking injury to himself, or she's really out to hurt him, I wouldn't think anything less of him if he did hit back.
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