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I've been in that position, except I was the bridesmaid and the bride was driving me insane (she sounded a lot like your friend, actually). I regret that I didn't just kick the whole wedding to the curb and save my sanity for the summer. Do it as kindly as you can, preserve your mental health, and let her handle the consequences, I say.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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