|
I have a story from the long weekend that could have been hot, but I, yes I cooled it down.
I went to my cottage all last week. (Charlatan - it was gorgeous there! We swam in the lake every day. Even golfed at the new course in Killaloe twice! Sorry you missed out)
One night the wife and I decided to go fishing. And where we go fishing it's a long way back in the bush, about an hours drive on an access road by four wheeler. We have an old, very easily tipped cedar strip canoe. We're out in the lake, it's coming on 7:30, and let me stress, we are in the middle of nowhere. And this lake is pitch brown, ugly, dirty, and deep. So the wife, in her first bout of spontenaity ever, stands up in the canoe, pulls down her jeans, throws me a Durex and says "let's do it." I was totally unprepared.
Now, I know what all you guys are thinking... Sweet! I know. I know. But I couldn't do it. First of all. We never would have got in place without tipping. She wanted me to strip off, slide under the middle bar and then she would somehow straddle me and we'd go at it. Well. Here's the thing. I chickened out. I just couldn't do it. I knew we'd tip, and I didn't think it was worth the risk of losing my dads two reels, a tackle box, a digital camera, and then having to try to pull the submerged canoe to shore.
So I pleaded with her. I said come up with three choices, thee different sex scenarios, and I'll pick one of them, but I just don't want to tip this canoe, way back here, and lose all the stuff. She wasn't game. So we decided to pack up, and head home, she being a little miffed that I passed up sex. We got back to the camp where we'd unloaded the four wheeler, which was still about a ten minute drive from the main road. It was dark, it was quiet, we saw a 16 foot aluminum fishing boat on the shore (different lake) and the wife says lets paddle out there and do it in that boat. I said ABSOLUTELY! It wasn't going to tip, there were no valuables in it, I said let's go for it.
We get the boat in the water and it starts to fill up with water. So we were on a timer. But that was okay. We both take our pants off and we start doing it doggy style, my favourite position. So, with the exception of the mosquitos snacking on the blood from my scrotum, I'm in a good place. Then I hear it. The noise. Sounds like cars. We quicken our pace. Then we see the lights from the cars heading towards us. I pull out, we throw on our clothes just in time while the cars drive past us, looking down on us, wondering who the hell is out fishing in the dark. We got back to shore, got in the van, and headed home. I have yet to have received my raincheck since that incident.
So how hot was that? Sorry, it was the best I could do.
__________________
I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys
|