I have to agree with snowyowl- BE THERE FOR HER! I used to be a bit like you when it came to my sister. I always told my mom what my sister was up to, I "bossed" her around a bit, I lectured her on the importance of not getting drunk to not wearing heels too much.
When I finally was getting ready to move out, I started to chill out a bit. I realised that it was my PARENTS' responsibility, and not mine, to dole out punishment in THEIR home and under THEIR rules. So I told my sister, "Hey, I know I don't seem very trustworthy, and I'm just your bossy big sister...but I want you to know that I'm here for you." She was very skeptical for awhile, but finally after a few phone calls once I was away, she has opened up to me. She tells me things I never knew, and I give her advice on how to deal with it.
So try it- one day, try walking into her room, and saying "I've been the Enforcer, but now I just want to be the friend and big brother. If you need help or advice, I'm always here, sis."
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