Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilda
Post-op MTF's who can pass have a difficult choice to make. Some go for full immersion, moving to a new city with a new identity, and never telling anyone, including sexual partners, even going so far as to invent a past history to match their new identity. I strongly disapprove of this, though I do understand it. I believe a sexual partner has the right to know a person's sexual past; it would be like me trying to deny that I'd had sex with men before I started dating women exclusively.
My friend Jen, once she transitions, doesn't plan to tell anyone other her family; it's none of their damn business.
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It's always the business of your sexual partner. That's the only thing that makes me uncomfortable about people who are transsexual/transgendered. I understand that they feel that something is wrong with them and that they need to fix that, but that doesn't change that there are some ways in which that's not who they are and never can be.
I admire their courage to take such drastic steps to feel comfortable with themselves, but there's something about it that fundamentally doesn't make sense to me and it's not something that I think I'd be comfortable with for purposes of a sexually intimate relationship. It might be my loss to eleminate the chance to be with a potentially wonderful and attractive transwoman. By the same token, I miss out on wonderful and attractive gay men.
Everyone has the right to know with whom they're having sex and it feels like a very base deception to engage in that kind of activity with someone who is completely unaware of the situation. Your sister and others like her might consider themselves female and act female and be female in all ways except that they weren't born female and, for better or worse, that does make a difference to people. I think people have the right to make that choice when it comes to deciding if they want to be sexually and emotionally intimate with someone.
That being said, it seems like you and your sister know that and understand it. I wish her the best with her recovery and "new" life.