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Hold on...
How long have you had this friend? And why do you want to back out on her just because she's hitting hard times? Maybe if you share your financial hardships with her she'll understand that you can't just pop in and meet all of her expenses. Friends lean on one another during hard times. She may be overstepping her bounds, but it's up to you to be firm and state "I can't" when you can't.
Please reconsider taking her out of your wedding party. If you want to remain friends in the future, there will be many hard feelings. If you really truly do consider her a nuisance and want her out of your life entirely, asking her to step out of your wedding party will be tactless, but effective, method of doing so.
You don't ask someone to be in your wedding, plan on it for months, and then renig. It's bad social grace, and horrible friendship.
Think back on your friendship with this woman. Is it something you value? Is she someone you value? I find the mentality of "it's your wedding do what you want" immature. I have seen too many friends frazzled over a wedding because they changed their minds about stupid things (like bridesmaids).
If you made the decision to have her in your party, and she cared enough about it to pay for the dress, stick with it. She obviously values your friendship, she seems to confide a lot in you.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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