abaya

SiN, I'm in total agreement. This was something that I realized in my first real relationship (and in every relationship since), and it was a sucky lesson to learn. I was reminded of it again last December, which was really painful.

One thinks (at least I did, many years ago) that love is all you need... but then you try your damndest to make it work based on that, ignoring subtle incompatibilities (including that of being in different life stages, which is a kind of incompatibility), and the shit still hits the fan. I think that has been my only big relationship breaker, really. Everything else was just a smaller part of that.

I believe love is a very powerful thing. But if it's done right, it shouldn't trump one or both people's individual personalities (and even if it looks that way, it will fall through in the end if done wrongly). Instead, it should nurture them each to grow as whole people, simultaneously. I'm still learning what this is all about... wonder if I'll ever get it.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran