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One - please pretty please put spaces into your post. It's very hard to read.
Two - It's your wedding. If you'd like her to step down, then ask her to. If she can't return the dress, however, it would be polite of you to pay for it. She does sound like a car wreck waiting to happen. Buuuttt.... you live in the same small town. You work at the same place. It could get ugly and fast. The other option is to tell her what you want her to do in terms of carpooling etc. Clearly, asking isn't working, so explain in a gentle manner that you need to rearrange the schedule a bit. A small white lie here would be useful - a reason you need to change things. Logic isn't working, and to keep things non-confrontational, perhaps it would help. I don't normally advocate such things... but we sometimes need those kinds of tools to smooth situations like these.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.
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