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AVoiceOfReason · 08-02-2005, 07:15 PM

Ok, I'll weigh in here, not just as a married guy (24 years) but also as a former divorce attorney. Keeping the money separate is a recipe for disaster. I understand that many couples make it to their fifty year anniversary doing this, but an extremely large percentage of the divorces I handled had this in common. She'd pay the house payment from her check, he'd make the car payments from his, she'd get the groceries from hers, he'd pay the utilities, etc. Then one would fall behind on his or her debts and not want to tell the other.

The best system I've seen is the one we use--or else we'd change to another. Whatever money comes in, and at the moment, I'm the only one working outside the home for wages, goes into our joint account. We have a joint account at the brokerage house, the house and cars are in both names, and we both write checks from the same checkbook. The wife handles the bookkeeping at home--she pays the monthly and quarterly bills--and I can look at what's going out (I put in what's coming in, so I already know that) anytime I want.

By the time you wed, you should have a pretty good idea about what kind of money managers each of you will be. If you treat the marriage as an equal partnership as though it was a business enterprise, you'll find there are fewer arguments about money. Having to account for those frivilous spending habits, having to cut down on expensives lunches if money is tight, knowing just what the inflow and outgo is in your household can do nothing but promote peace--unless one of you is immature and unwilling to make the adjustments necessary to make the finances work.

If that's the case, then the other adjustments necessary to make a marriage work aren't going to be forthcoming, either, and you might consider (a) not entering into the contract, or (b) keeping close tabs on the finances, even to the point of having separate accounts until such time as you end the marriage. But in most states, the money in HER account will be yours, and vice versa, as will the debts on HER credit cards (with some exceptions) and vice versa.

The VOR bottomline--commit yourself to the marriage, emotionally and financially. Treat your money as going into and coming out of one big pot, rather than two smaller ones.

08-02-2005, 07:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
AVoiceOfReason Psycho Location: Greenwood, Arkansas	Ok, I'll weigh in here, not just as a married guy (24 years) but also as a former divorce attorney. Keeping the money separate is a recipe for disaster. I understand that many couples make it to their fifty year anniversary doing this, but an extremely large percentage of the divorces I handled had this in common. She'd pay the house payment from her check, he'd make the car payments from his, she'd get the groceries from hers, he'd pay the utilities, etc. Then one would fall behind on his or her debts and not want to tell the other. The best system I've seen is the one we use--or else we'd change to another. Whatever money comes in, and at the moment, I'm the only one working outside the home for wages, goes into our joint account. We have a joint account at the brokerage house, the house and cars are in both names, and we both write checks from the same checkbook. The wife handles the bookkeeping at home--she pays the monthly and quarterly bills--and I can look at what's going out (I put in what's coming in, so I already know that) anytime I want. By the time you wed, you should have a pretty good idea about what kind of money managers each of you will be. If you treat the marriage as an equal partnership as though it was a business enterprise, you'll find there are fewer arguments about money. Having to account for those frivilous spending habits, having to cut down on expensives lunches if money is tight, knowing just what the inflow and outgo is in your household can do nothing but promote peace--unless one of you is immature and unwilling to make the adjustments necessary to make the finances work. If that's the case, then the other adjustments necessary to make a marriage work aren't going to be forthcoming, either, and you might consider (a) not entering into the contract, or (b) keeping close tabs on the finances, even to the point of having separate accounts until such time as you end the marriage. But in most states, the money in HER account will be yours, and vice versa, as will the debts on HER credit cards (with some exceptions) and vice versa. The VOR bottomline--commit yourself to the marriage, emotionally and financially. Treat your money as going into and coming out of one big pot, rather than two smaller ones. __________________ AVOR A Voice Of Reason, not necessarily the ONLY one.