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I think flaking is about lack of honesty and/or respect. If you lack respect for the people you flake on (or if you don't have enough of it), you just don't have enough in you to offset the fact that flaking is more convenient for you. If you lack honesty (with yourself and/or others), you know you're going to have to flake, but it seems better to lie about it and make a commitment anyway. Sometimes these phenomena work in concert. If you lack respect for somebody and you're not honest about it (even to yourself), you can find yourself constantly making commitments to them because you want them (and yourself) to believe that you do respect them; but you'll also find yourself frequently letting those commitments slip your mind.
I've experienced a lot of flaking in my life, both as the victim and perpetrator. When you get flaked on enough times by loved ones, it gets to be incredibly hurtful. Luckily, I've realized that I have control over whether I flake or not... so I generally keep that part under control these days.
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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)
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