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People draw the line at sex, because it's so intimate, but taken in a different light this is much clearer.
If a girl is a horrible bitch to me, and I "fantasize" about beating the hell out of her, it doesn't mean I'm going to. If someone cheats me out in a business deal, and I "fantasize" about burning down their house, it doesn't mean I'm going to. If my parents had pissed me off, and I "fantasized" that they just die, it doesn't mean that I want that to actually come to fruition. I say "fantasize" to keep the language of the post, but it is merely a passing thought. There's a definite line between thought and action that we clearly recognize, and its present in thoughts about sex as well. I can see how, as a girl, you are concerned that he is "desiring" this other girl, but that is likely not the case. If you've ever thought about another man sexually, whether your hand was anywhere near your equipment or not, you've gone through the same process. "Man, they're attractive. Wonder what it would be like to have sex with them?" I agree that getting angry about it will further drive him inward, and he will likely be less honest in the future. The only thing you should be concerned about, I believe, is whether he has the moral fortitude to draw the line at fantasy and not cross over into action.
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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel
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