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Originally Posted by Ustwo
And dear Sir, how would one show you they had no trouble with intimacy?
To test a hypothesis we need a framework upon which it can be tested.
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The issue of intimacy would be a consequence of psychological pathology. The hypothesis would be framed around the assumption that those involved in polyamory or swinging are more likely to have personality disorders or sexual addiction (probably as a result of childhood trauma.)
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Originally Posted by raeanna74
I THINK you mean that those who participate in a swinging relationship have trouble with intimacy with their partners. I personally have not seen that in any of the swinger couples that we are friends with. Several of them we've known for a few years. It seems to me that the intimacy between my husband and myself intensified when we began swinging because the level of trust and respect increased tenfold. The couples we know that we swing with have a deep intimacy between themselves. Many of them frequently act like newlyweds and have a sweet intimacy that some older couples have lost touch with. Their intimacy seems deep enough that I've seen some communicate volumes with each other with just a look. This comes from the increased communication necessary to have a swinging relationship.
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Yes, that's what I meant. Although I hadn't even thought about it in terms of the "non-primary" partners if such a thing exists. In general, I think a lack of intimacy would arise from the addictive, novelty-rewarding interaction with new people where sex is an underlying, or even secondary, motivation. I'm not saying you do or don't fit this case, but I suspect that sexual addiction and (DSM-IV defined) personality disorders are more common among the polyamorous/swinging population. I don't mean this an offensive way, I'm just skeptical that these relationships should be deemed progressive.