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Originally Posted by kangaeru
Would you mind telling me exactly what your argument is? Because I guess I'm unclear about it.
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I thought it was pretty clear:
if you do not intend to offend it would be best not to use offensive language
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Does this include you? Is "some of us" supposed to be rhetorical? Either way, then you're saying that this sort of language shouldn't be used because it will offend some people.
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Nope, I said no such thing. Try reading that again. I said:
I have no doubt that if you say this is so in your social circle, that it is true. This may not be true when you are interacting with people outside of your social circle.
In my social circle, we don't use namecalling or foul language because it's considered to be impolite. For some of us, namecalling hasn't reached the point where it is so overused that it has lost meaning and power. Some of us are still offended by such language.
My social circle outside of my immediate family and work place, by the way, includes several college students, all guys, all computer science, physical science, or engineering majors. Nerds with little experience with girls. I know nothing of how they speak when I'm not around, and I don't care. When I am around, they speak politely, and don't use derogatory language, at least not more than once.
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Or perhaps you're merely saying that you will get a better answer to your questions if you make them as unoffending and politically correct to as many people as possible, because people will then focus more on your content, and not your vulgar verbiage?
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I didn't say anything about being PC, just that if you use language intended to be insulting, people will be insulted. Otherwise, you've basically got it right.
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You know what though? You are being over sensative--it's the truth.
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Whether I'm being oversensitive is a matter of opinion, not objective truth.
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Because when you give a stranger the power to upset you with their opinion of you, then you've give up some of your self identity.If you don't have some core opinion of yourself which you won't take a chip at unless someone really close and important to you tells you you need to take a hard look, you're in for a world of hurt. Which a lot of people are currently in. You've got to have some kind of base belief in yourself to act as a shield against all the untrue, convoluted bullshit which people are going to throw at you throughout your life.
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You're reading WAY too much into what I've said.
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You do owe somebody politeness when you are addressing them, or one of their issues or topics. It's their own issues they've opened up, so you've got to respect them for that and not use insulting language. When you're addressing your own stuff, as match did, in a, for the most part, very unvulgar way, you can speak freely as you please. Not to mention this guy is inexperienced as hell. Some people got offended and defensive when they could have been a bit more understanding to his naievity. Like I said, lessons learned.
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I disagree. You owe somebody courtesy whenever you interact with them.
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So, please explain to me what position you're defending then.
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When interacting with people on a general usage message board, a higher level of diction is often better suited to getting across a message effectively.
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you're judging through your tinted window of your own values.
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I made exactly two responses to the OP.
In the first, I complimented him on how he handled the situation with the girl and offered some advice on how to score a kiss, girlfriend, and sex.
In the second, I expressed agreement with him that hanging out with a group of girls can be mentally tiring, while disregarding the "butterface" comment.
I fail to see any harsh judgements there.
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If you let people just be themselves and say what they want to say, you can learn a lot about what people are really like, and cut through the bullshit of saying things politely, and down to exactly how we mean them when we have a thought in our heads.
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I disagree that speaking politely is bullshit. I sincerely believe that doing so in a context where people are likely to take offense at crude and insulting language--like this message board--both shows respect and, as a result, is more likely to effectively communicate ones message. If you don't offend your audience, they are more likely to be receptive to your message.