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Originally Posted by Gilda
If I had actually made such an argument, you might have a point. I didn't, however, so you are arguing against a straw man.
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Did you even really argue anything? That argument is the only one deserving consideration which I could think of, that didn't base it's reasoning on anything about either of the two people holding the argument. E.G. their own personal beliefs and lifestyle. Would you mind telling me exactly what your argument is? Because I guess I'm unclear about it.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
In my social circle, we don't use namecalling or foul language because it's considered to be impolite. For some of us, namecalling hasn't reached the point where it is so overused that it has lost meaning and power. Some of us are still offended by such language.
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Does this include you? Is "some of us" supposed to be rhetorical? Either way, then you're saying that this sort of language shouldn't be used because it will offend some people. Which is exactly the argument I was citing in my previous post. Or perhaps you're merely saying that you will get a better answer to your questions if you make them as unoffending and politically correct to as many people as possible, because people will then focus more on your content, and not your vulgar verbiage? If I'm totally taking shots in the dark here feel free to englighten me with exactly what you're arguing.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
It's easy to use offensive language, language meant to degrade, and then call the person who has been offended oversensitive. We cannot change that people do still take offense at language. It should come as no surprise that language whose funtion is to be insulting--like fugly--often causes offense.
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You know what though? You are being over sensative--it's the truth. Because when you give a stranger the power to upset you with their opinion of you, then you've give up some of your self identity. If you don't have some core opinion of yourself which you won't take a chip at unless someone really close and important to you tells you you need to take a hard look, you're in for a world of hurt. Which a lot of people are currently in. You've got to have some kind of base belief in yourself to act as a shield against all the untrue, convoluted bullshit which people are going to throw at you throughout your life. Reality is different from person to person--to one girl I may be fugly, to the next, I may be Brad Pitt. It doesn't matter, it's all objective.
I'm playing devil's advocate here. When I talk about welcome to the class room this is a learning experience--well it is. It's learning how to let things which you shouldn't let bother you slide off your back. The only way you're going to make people see things the way you do is by living happily, practicing what you preach, and letting people see your ideology works. Until then, there will ALWAYS be an inexhaustable amount of people who will find ways to offend you and get under your skin. When you step back and realize how insignificant they all are in the big picture, it's like whatever man, do your thing, I'm happy over here.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
Thoughts can be expressed thoughtfully and politely, or crudely and offensively. The former is usually more effective, especially in a context where the latter is likely to cause offense.
You can say what you really think while being polite. The two aren't mutually exclusive.
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You do owe somebody politeness when you are addressing them, or one of their issues or topics. It's their own issues they've opened up, so you've got to respect them for that and not use insulting language. When you're addressing your own stuff, as match did, in a, for the most part, very unvulgar way, you can speak freely as you please. Not to mention this guy is inexperienced as hell. Some people got offended and defensive when they could have been a bit more understanding to his naievity. Like I said, lessons learned.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
Once again you bring out your straw man. Makes an easy target, doesn't it?
If I'd meant that, I would have said that. I didn't. Reread what I said, and you'll see that my point is quite different from how you are characterizing it.
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So, please explain to me what position you're defending then.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
I'm not sure what lesson I'm supposed to learn from name calling that can't be just as well communicated using polite language.
I don't believe I've asked anyone to walk on eggshells around me.
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You're supposed to learn about how people really think when they can say whatever they want. Whether you like what you see or not is really objective--my interest, and fascination with this place is peoples' ability to do so. And for the freedom for myself to do so. Some people will present themselves differently than others--some politely and intellectually, some a bit more vulgar and rough around the edges. Like a college student engineer who has no experience with girls. Isn't it fascinating to see how this guy, who has no real solid history of interracting with girls, has learned the terms and values that he knows and has used here from his male friends? That he has never kissed a girl but he knows about terms like cock blocking, butterface, brown bagger, etc? I can only imagine how long he has wanted to get a romantic spark going so he can jump into this whole sex and relationships thing--and he's tryin, good for him! I'm objective and unjudgemental about all of this--you're judging through your tinted window of your own values. If you let people just be themselves and say what they want to say, you can learn a lot about what people are really like, and cut through the bullshit of saying things politely, and down to exactly how we mean them when we have a thought in our heads. Not everyone is a pleasant polite person--you've got to take the good with the bad.
I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who finds value in that. If so, that's okay--I'm still gonna be here, more entertained and enlightened by the minute as usual.