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Old 07-19-2005, 10:31 PM   #37 (permalink)
martinguerre
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Location: New England
why, might i ask did you feel the need to comment on your objection to pride parades? Why is this being discussed at all?

did i say anything that led you to believe that i support public nudity in locations where it is not agreed and consented to? did i say anything that led you to believe that i support casual sex? did i say anything that had anything to do with advocating promescuity? I, in fact, support an ethic of sex within the context of committed relationship. That's not the whole story, and i think there's a whole lot to say...but that's the basic message. I do not believe that having sex with more than one person in one's life makes a person a slut. i do believe that having sex with people you don't love isn't a good idea. I believe in commited relationships, and sexual expression with in the context of love and trust. I do not practice nor condone random sexual encounters. I do not practice nor condone sexual ethics that are not respectful of the health, dignity and welfare of other human beings. why is this even an issue?

Quote:
and all the trappings that come along with it
???

i am going to calmly ask: Wtf? I really do want to know. What do you mean by that? Sexual orientation does not predetermine any kind of life style. A person could be attracted to either or both genders and choose a wide variety of levels of sexual involvement with others, celibacy, monogomy, whatever. People do this. Your post notes individuals who have chosen both casual sex ethics, and people who are very discreet. So far, i think we're in agreement.

I stated that one's sexual morals are a lifestyle, and a choice. Attitudes and values are a choice. One's orientation is not. If you look to your original use of the word lifestyle, you refer to those who object to my lifestyle. This is why i object to that word. They do not object to my lifestyle. I wear in preppy clothes, and have been single for some time. I do not engage in sexual behavior outside of serious/commited relationships. They do not object to what is actually my lifestyle. They object to my orientation because they are calling it a choice. That's why i suggested the defintions i did...so that we could be clear about what you're talking about.

I think what i'm saying is in agreement with the dictionary here. If you do not agree with this, then i add this: Definitions are political as well as representation of average usage. In this country, the word lifestyle has become a code word in discourse on sexuality to mean chosen behavior. The phrase "the homosexual lifestyle" is used to represent extreme promescuity and implies that simply being gay means participation in that section of queer culture. Even if the dictionary says you can use that word, i'm suggesting that it's a problematic term for use in discussing queer culture because it has become co-opted by anti-queer activists.

i'm letting everything else slide...i think there are some foundational issues to the discussion here, cynthetiq. if this seems like thread jack, feel free to move material elsewhere. but since these issues have been raised, i think that i need to stop and direct my attention at resolving these questions first.
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