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Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bigbad
If I was your sister, the minute I turned 18 I'd be out of there so damn fast... and I'd make sure it would be quite a while before she'd see me again.
I guess I was lucky in that my parents respected me as a person enough not to pull stuff like that. I got walked in on on a few occasions accidently, but after a couple of times they'd simply knock and talk through the door.
And for all you "her house, her rules" people, if the house rule was that if she had sex at all while living there her mother would beat her, would you still argue that way?
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Beating is not an acceptable consequence for ANY action no matter how grave the infraction. (That is not to say I do not condone spanking, I personally do believe in "Spare the rod, spoil the child", but that is another thread entirely.) The rules are reasonable, but the consequences are not. So if you even stated, "consequences: starvation, beating, any thing that could be construed as abuse," they are not acceptable consequences.
As for "being out of there so fast..." my parents set up pretty reasonable rules, but to me they were still rules that I did not like and I know and understood that if I wanted to change them the only way that I could do so was to make it "my house" (Whose House? sorry can't help it.) I was a smart kid so I explored emancipation but I did not like the ramifications and hoops I'd have to go through to accomplish it. My salvation was going to college away from home about 5 hours away....and what did I learn from that?
They contributed money to the tuition, so, I did not have 100% authority over myself still. I figured out that in order to have that few percentage points left to truly make it "my house" I had to be fiscally responsible for myself 100%. It took me a few years to get to 100% and I fought for every percentage point. My final stand was when for 1 year I would not accept ANY gifts from any people since my parents learned to "use" my sister to get to me. Even when I got married 3 years ago, I made sure that if I wanted it our way, we paid for it 100%.
My parents understand totally now where I'm coming from and respect it. They offer money all the time to "help" and I always refuse because in my mind there's always a string attached to it.. it maybe just tied to an apron, but it's still a string nonetheless.
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