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If you are not emotionally ready for this, say no and be prepared to explain why. Try and figure out what it is that makes you uncomfortable, and explain that to her as non-judgmentally as possible. Don't bring the best friend into this; her proclivities have exactly nothing to do with what you and your wife are doing (unless she is pressuring your wife into getting into bed with other men!).
Why does it make you uncomfortable? Why are you afraid of it snowballing out? I'd say the first order of business here is to close down on the swinging altogether until both of you feel stable, safe and secure in your marriage again.
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