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First off, the flies in the bathtub was freakin' weird.
I've been reaaaally experimental through the years since I figured out how things worked. Tried quite a few things mentioned already- water jets on pools, couch cushions (that rubbed off too much, got a scab, ouch!).
A couple of the best things I experimented with though:
1) Some of that packing foam wrap that's thin and smooth, rolled up in a sock then put on a plastic bottle, lubed up and had fun...
2) The newer foam that's used for hot water / AC pipe insulation. Really soft neoprene-like texture. Cut to length, duct tape the length of the split, wrap around the base a couple times for extra tightness. Nice.
Like so many also said, wife's vagina still better than even the best 'strange thing'.
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