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I feel for ya mate - I've been in similar situations. Whilst I've never had women tell me off for holding doors open etc, I've heard many tales from people who have, and I still can't quite beleive that people could possibly take offence to simple politeness. I hold the door open for anyone if needed. I do sometimes stand back and let ladies board trains etc first, and, to date, they have either said thank you or ignored me.
As for your situation - Like they have all said. Be nice. Some people will throw it back at you, some people will glare at you with a "how dare you infer...", but most will either accept, or politely refuse. Either way, you'll feel good for having offered, and, even if they refuse, you have shown them that you care, and that's got to be worth something.
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Moo! I'm mooey! 
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