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Originally Posted by Lebell
There have been several studies that show that children's brains are physically changing up until tthey reach about 20 or so.
The part of the brain that is developing is the area that has to do with decision making.
In otherwords, there is a scientific reason why children make stupid choices.
So you are asking the physically impossible to have a 13 year old be an adult.
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It's called frontal lobe and it is the slowest growing part of the brain as it absorbs the information that humans need to understand right from wrong and the consequences of action. It is, in essence the conscience. Many sociopaths and psychopaths have underdeveloped frontal lobes.
From the time my twins could even partially verbalize their needs or wants, they were given choices, but, as small children, choice of two. Whether it was what book to read, what snack to have, what pants to wear. Some things weren't up for discussion-I stuck to my guns and they understood that.
My son had temper tantrums(later found to be at least partially the result of an allergy to sodium nitrates), but he was either ignored or put in the corner or his crib til he calmed down. If he tried to get out of that, I put him back and said he could come out when he finished.
Kids will test their boundaries to be sure they have them. If we as parents keep changing the rules, we lose their trust and respect.