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It is now 1:45 in the morning. My mom has now developed the death rattle. Earlier in the day she would try to cough to clear the junk from her lungs. Now she is too weak to do that, and the fluid builds up. She takes gasping breaths because she is having trouble breathing. My sister is also awake, because there is nothing else to do, and there is a feeling of not wanting to leave. My stepfather has finally fallen asleep, and I know he is exhausted. My wife is also asleep. At 3:30 this afternoon a female priest came by the house to give the last rites and then to discuss memorial service options. She was very nice and answered many questions we had. We will have a service on the 16th of July which will be catered and allow friends and family from afar to visit. My mom's friend Gail came by again. She and her visiting sister are both nurses. The gave my mom another sponge bath and explained the death process to us. We have all told her that she can let go, and that she has lived her life well. Gail and her sister explained that some people want everyone around them when they die, and others wait until no one is in the room. I don't know what to think. I don't feel any anger, just sadness. My mom battled her cancer so hard, and for so long. Now I listen to her drowning in her own spit and there is nothing I can really do. Gail said that you don't have to be there if you have made your peace, but of course no one wants to feel guilty about not being there. Now that I know my mom is going to die and is unresponsive, it is hard waiting for it to happen. You just want her to let go, so that she does not suffer anymore.
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