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pocon1 · 07-05-2005, 05:34 PM

I am sitting here with my mom listening to her heavy breathing, but it is regular. When she was moved to the hospital bed she barely looked around and did not seem to be responding to much at all. One of my parent's good friends is a nurse, and she has been helping tremendously. She did feed her some ativan crushed up in a little ice cream to keep her from doing things like trying to get up in the middle of the night. She would not open her eyes for the ice cream, but would make a bad face and not really swallow any of it. Gail (the nurse) said that she would eventually slip into a semi-coma, and then a completely unresponsive coma, and then she would probably have less than 24 hours. She will eventually just stop breathing. It is so hard to just sit here and watch it. I bet my mom would have been happier being eaten by a bear because at least she could have tried to fight it. She would have at least stabbed it, or gouged it in the eyes. Every few minutes the bed makes a hissing sound because an air pump fills up different parts of the bed to prevent bedsores from developing. But as I watch her her eyebrows still occasionally lift, so I know she is not in a coma. I wish I could be strong for her as she has always been so strong for us growing up. She is less than sixty years old; she should be planning her retirement. We should be planning to bring little grandkids to a community in Tucson or South Carolina or something. Grandkids is something that is tough to think about right now. She used to tease me and my wife about her being around to see the grandkids. This was before the cancer returned. We have pushed it off for a couple more years because my wife has just started nursing school. It took a couple years for her to qualify for the program, and she has 1 1/2 years left. She will probably graduate a few months pregnant. But that is probably my one big regret; that my mom will never see her son's children (my sister has a wonderful 12 y.o. boy). I know I never told her much or very well how much I love her and appreciate her, but I do feel that she knows that I do. I will probably go in to work for only a few hours tomorrow.

07-05-2005, 05:34 PM	#23 (permalink)
pocon1 Banned	I am sitting here with my mom listening to her heavy breathing, but it is regular. When she was moved to the hospital bed she barely looked around and did not seem to be responding to much at all. One of my parent's good friends is a nurse, and she has been helping tremendously. She did feed her some ativan crushed up in a little ice cream to keep her from doing things like trying to get up in the middle of the night. She would not open her eyes for the ice cream, but would make a bad face and not really swallow any of it. Gail (the nurse) said that she would eventually slip into a semi-coma, and then a completely unresponsive coma, and then she would probably have less than 24 hours. She will eventually just stop breathing. It is so hard to just sit here and watch it. I bet my mom would have been happier being eaten by a bear because at least she could have tried to fight it. She would have at least stabbed it, or gouged it in the eyes. Every few minutes the bed makes a hissing sound because an air pump fills up different parts of the bed to prevent bedsores from developing. But as I watch her her eyebrows still occasionally lift, so I know she is not in a coma. I wish I could be strong for her as she has always been so strong for us growing up. She is less than sixty years old; she should be planning her retirement. We should be planning to bring little grandkids to a community in Tucson or South Carolina or something. Grandkids is something that is tough to think about right now. She used to tease me and my wife about her being around to see the grandkids. This was before the cancer returned. We have pushed it off for a couple more years because my wife has just started nursing school. It took a couple years for her to qualify for the program, and she has 1 1/2 years left. She will probably graduate a few months pregnant. But that is probably my one big regret; that my mom will never see her son's children (my sister has a wonderful 12 y.o. boy). I know I never told her much or very well how much I love her and appreciate her, but I do feel that she knows that I do. I will probably go in to work for only a few hours tomorrow.