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I agree with ratbastid - we've never used a safeword but my gf gets really turned on if i hold her down. she also likes to fight back a little and once seh even yelled stop - when i did she said no, i didnt mean stop...
the way she puts it is that she generally has to be in control of everything so in bed she likes to be powerless. and like you, silvertiger, i'm naturally very gentle - the first time i felt her up she had to keep telling me, "harder" -
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