So Saturday I was taking a nice lazy bath in my mom's huge bathtub. My mom was over at her best friend JJ's putting a dinner together. Right when my bath had just gotten started, my mom and JJ come in, with JJ saying there had been an accident, yet she was saying it in a really calm voice for some strange reason. So I got out of the bathtub, put on a robe, and it turned out my mom had cut her finger pretty bad on a sharp knife while chopping up lettuce for a salad.
I got dressed and we all piled into the car. I took JJ home and took mom to the emergency room. Mom said to just drop her off and she'd call me to come pick her up. About 2 hours go by and I go to pick her up. She had a couple stitches in her finger and some gauze wrapped around it. Seemed like everything was ok. She mentioned she had been given a tetanus (I really don't think that's spelled right, but whatever) shot, and it had been about 15-20 yrs since she'd had one.
The rest of the day goes by fine. Later on that night, I was online here around 11pm-ish or so. Mom came out of the bedroom saying her finger was hurting REAL bad. So bad it woke her up out of a sound sleep. The last time she was in a lot of pain was when I was around 11 or 12, when she broke her tailbone. I went to the kitchen to meet her there and get her some ice. She was talking to my back, so I turned around, and saw her face was stark white. She said she felt like she was going to be sick. I told her she didn't look so good and that she should lie down, and then she just kind of became unresponsive. I started panicking in my head, like, oh f***, not now, not 2 years after my own father died in her arms on a Saturday night. Then she lost her grip on the counter and slumped over. She grabbed ahold of the bar stool and it came crashing down to the ground, along with her. I didn't know what the hell was going, whether an infection was going through her, whether her blood sugar was low, or whether she was having a reaction to the tetanus shot she had. Whatever it was, I was scared. I had all these thoughts going through my head like, oh my god, oh my god, I can't lose her now, she's all I have left, she went through this with my dad and now I have to go through it with her, I CAN'T LOSE HER NOW, OH MY GOD!
It's different you know, when you're working and something like this happens to someone you DON'T know; you go through the motions to react to the emergency. But when it's a family member or someone else very close to you, it's a totally different situation. I'm sure most of you can relate to what I mean by that. I was so scared. So, so scared. I hope I never have to go through ANYthing like that with a loved one EVER again. I called 911, I was about to do CPR on my mom, and I was trying to see if she was at all conscious by yelling, MOM! MOM!!!!! She came to about a minute later (but I swear it felt like an eternity), and she kept saying she didn't want an ambulance. Her speech was slurred, she had passed out (with her eyes OPEN, which made me even more scared, because that's not a good thing to see of your own mother), and she had fallen to the floor. She didn't hit her head thank god, because I was able to catch her, but still. The operator said he couldn't send an ambulance if she was saying she didn't want one. I really wish they had sent one though. I would have felt better personally, but there was nothing I could do about it. My blood pressure's going up just thinking about it again.
The operator said if it happened again to call back right away though, which I might as well have lasered into my head, because I kept that in mind all night. She didn't know she had passed out, and she didn't know why she was on the ground. After resting there a few minutes I helped her to her bedroom and got her into bed. Checked her eyes out and it didn't seem like she had a concussion, but who am I to judge right? I'm no doctor or nurse or anything. Got her some water and some orange juice. Then she said she had to go to the bathroom. So I helped her over to her bathroom which wasn't more than like, 10-12 ft from her bed, and all of a sudden she started going white again. I tried to steer her back to the bed to lie down again, but she was gripping onto the wall like it was her lifeline, and her speech was slurred again. She was saying, "I have to get to the bed," but it came out sounding like, "I have to gettotegv bear." *sigh* not a good thing at all. I managed to get her back to the bed and she recovered slowly from this last time. She didn't even know her speech had slurred again, and she was stumbling in my arms back to her bed too.
I don't think all's still well with her. She's supposed to have a follow up appt tomorrow, which I'm going to make sure she gets to. I had to work at 10am this morning, but I was going to take it off because of everything that happened. My mom kept insisting that I go to work though. I called JJ and told her what happened, and asked her if she could come by to make sure everything was ok with my mom while I was gone. No way in hell was I gonna leave her all alone after what happened.
See, a Saturday night was when my father died. And then to have whatever this was happen to my mom... well, it just scared me. I'm not ready to be left alone yet. I may be grown, and I may want to move out, but I still need my mom in my life. I'm not ready for her to be with my father yet.
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Took a nap this afternoon after getting out of work early, and I had a nightmare reliving the whole thing.
