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Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
While I don't have kids, nor do I want them, my comment is simple.
Closer isn't instant. It takes time to develop. I must say that now that the we kids are grown up, my parents relationship has gotten more and more closer than it ever was when we were kids.
IMO people get divorced after having kids, because they think that the change is instant, that something must be wrong if it's not "at the moment of birth/marriage" The lie of and they "got married and lived happily ever after."
there's work that goes into it, in order to reap the rewards. It's those that don't want to put in the work that bail.
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excellent points made cynthetiq, i had not thought of it that way, that it's the concept of 'expectation' that casues the divorces and/or causes the spouses to feel that they are let down when they actually Do have children.
personally, i think the whole idea of ' once we have children, we'll be the happy family and we'll be closer and everything will be roses and love' is a myth and a fantasy, yes, having children is really great for some people, however, there is an extensive amount of work and stress that goes into raising a child into a thoughtful and kind adult.
Having children is the right choice for allot of people, but for an equal amount, not having children is also the right choice. I just wish there wasn't so much judgement that was involved when you openly say you're choosing not to have children.
Sweetpea