Quote:
|
Originally Posted by j8ear
I don't want to minimize the potential or capability of those situations which are not ideal...I instead want to point ot that only the ideal is, well, ideal...and the rest are therefore less then ideal, and neccessarily harmful.
|
I don't see this as flaming... it's a good discussion
I think I was questioning your view of "ideal", the bolded above shows the point I was questioning.
I think a single parent, when considering the overall wellbeing of a child, will take action and bring family, friends, a network of people into the childs life everyday to fill the gap of a missing 'father figure'. This is saying that there are some single moms who will look out for, and see the needs of a child to have this balancing factor.
In the greater scheme of things, I think I would agree that there are many single moms who don't, or can't focus on this aspect. That I can agree is less than "ideal" and harmful. Is this the point you were making?
I think I fight the view, or your perception of "ideal" because I see it as a factor that brings a stigma toward single moms. Being one myself I find it to be a very limiting belief in society. I cannot change the fact that I am a single mom, it would be easier for me to see others looking at my actions, and seeing what I put into my situation rather than just looking at me and saying that my position is "less than ideal". And trust me, I know I have felt at times that my situation is "less than ideal" and I can see where I would have preferred to have a partner... sometimes it's really difficult. Those are the times that I have sought the networking aspect of community/village type arrangements. That is where I have started to look more deeply at our view of "ideal"...
I think there is truely room for some adjustment on our view of
ideals in this regard...