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"I'm sorry, but kangaeru can't come to the phone right now. He is tied to a bed in a double-wide trailer in the middle of the Arizona desert. When Snake, the wild-eyed crackhead ex-boyfriend, finishes sodomizing him (while psycho, wrist-slitting, work-out girl films it), kangaeru will call you right back. However, if you don't hear from him within 48 hours, bring the cadaver dogs to Latitude 23.785 N, Longitude 76.296."
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Gives a man a halo, does mead.
"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."
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