I run NZGamer.com and I see what you're saying, the trouble is that to receive support from Publishers (ie free games to review and advertising/random product support) you've got to be a little nice. We're not HUGE so to get their we do have to suck a bit of dick. We don't do it because we're asked to, but because we know it'll affect the life and future of the website as a whole.
Places like IGN and Gamespot are big enough to be able to slag wherever they want, they choose not to because they get paid copious amounts of money from publishers, so why tarnish your relationship when it means you could lose potential dollars?
Penny-Arcade have hit it in quite a nice place, they don't give a shit about anything, but people keep going to their site, their hits are high therefore advertising there is very much sought after. It's not easy to get to a point where PA is and I doubt very much that we'll see any others come to it either.
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