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Originally Posted by maleficent
Lack of a backbone is just --- :shudders: no one wants that... (they all tend to show up at my doorstep) Nice guys can be strong guys - nice doesn't equal lack of a backbone... Nice is not a derogatory term (though it seems as it is these days)
Keeping someone a little insecure is not being a strong guy, it's still playing a mind game, and that's wrong (in my opinion)... I'm not seeing it any differently than women who use tears as a means to get what they want.
Maybe you and mrs ustwo have been married for 13 years because she was finally the right woman, and well she likes ya for you.. .Not because you keep her feeling a little insecure and wants to do stuff to keep you interested...  |
Mmmmm perhaps I need to be more clear by what I mean by 'insecure'.
What I mean is that the women should not be allowed to feel that she 'has' you 100%. The male must project to her that while he likes her, if she leaves he will get by just fine, and perhaps he is still looking. Is this a mind game? Sure, but I think it is needed as sex is a mind game, involving factors that are as old as life itself.
When I say stop being nice, what I mean is stop putting her as your number 1 priority. It doesn't mean do mean things but when guys think 'nice' they tend to be almost like supplicants (your no-backbone types).
This is really about plain old self confidence. You have to realize you have something to offer women even if you are not the 'pretty boy' type and that its as much about them deserving you as you deserving them.
I've spoken to several women about this and the reactions have been kinda funny at times. My favorite was when I was in a group of men and women, (was in my early 20's at the time) and the two women of course said I was wrong. Then after words one of them comes up and tells me I'm 100% correct but she didn't want to say it in front of the other guys and give them the wrong impression. Most do tend to agree but I'm sure its a point I make better in person than in text form.
Edit:Speeling