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honestly, I don't know what to tell you. my shit always gets messy, as I work a combination of prep, garde manger, and pastry - which means I'm always around sticky, goopy, sweet stuff that inevitably stains everything it comes in contact with. you could always try the salt/seltzer thing from curb your enthusiasm...
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If it wasn't for microsoft, if we lived in the middle east? Y'all wouldn't have no hands....
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