From my experience, my ability to orgasm has mainly been subject to my state of mind. I am normally in control over whether I orgasm or not.
There have only been a couple of occasions that I have had an orgasm that I was not quite ready for... both were an extremely pleasant surprise!
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Males are also quicker at 2.5 minutes, while the average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm is 12 minutes, according to Spector.
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Now I found this interesting as I know it doesn't take anywhere near 12 minutes for me to reach orgasm.. I may not be as quick as 2.5 but it could definately be inside 5 minutes. This can happen with a partner or 'manually'.
I honestly couldn't tell you about my mothers experiences or thoughts about sex. Any repression of sex that I can remember would have been displayed by my father.
I do not consider myself to be sexually driven, it is not my main focus in life. In saying this though, I have had a couple of relationships that were highly driven in the physical act, without these though I have not felt the 'need' or 'urge' to persue a 'replacement' to fill the void when said relationships lapsed.
I may be over-expanding on this subject.. I'm just playing around with the ability to orgasm v's the sexual drive. I get confused about my lack of drive... *sigh*