Quote:
Originally posted by ~springrain
it's not that i don't trust him, it's not that i don't believe him or in his feelings for me... it's about me... allowing his love to sink in, deep down, and really honor it.
coming from past relationships that were very destructive and abusive, this is a major hurdle for me. on some level, in my head, i know i "deserve" it... but on a much deeper level... i doubt... i get afraid... perhaps i am afraid that if i TRULY let it sink in, and i begin to trust... it will be taken away... and i'll be reminded that i am NOT worth it afterall...
*soft sigh*... i hope i don't sound pathetic here... i am just speaking to those insecurities that i think most of us hold deep inside and rarely confront.
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Not pathetic at all... I'm beginning to wonder if you might just happen to be me... but wait, I'm here. So you can't be me.
Yes, this is exactly it. You keep thinking it's not going to last. Nothing so far has. Everything that's brought you to this point has been taken away, so, too, will this. I fear this every day. He keeps telling me I'm being silly, but until he's walked this mile in these shoes, he'll never understand the fear.