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Originally Posted by abaya
^ ditto, Mal and Rat.
Just last night, after a difficult talk with ktspktsp, I felt like shit for frustrating him... and he said "I'm nowhere near frustrated enough to give up on us." My response? "Sometimes I think you should be." (Luckily, he still hasn't taken me up on that offer, which I have repeated at least five times since we've been together.)
I am so damn cynical about relationships... I've seen too many go to shit, even when people involved had immense amounts of faith in the relationship. So I want to give up sometimes, before I get hurt like that, since it seems almost inevitable in my book. Self-fulfilling prophecies, anyone? (Good thing ktspktsp isn't a prophet.)  |
I completely relate, Abaya. In my relationship, my boyfriend is completely committed to me and we are very serious.. We want to marry eachother so his time frame for us is forever but my time frame....wanes every now and then because my confidence in relationships in general is lacking more than his. he comes from a very supportive background and I come from....an emotionally abusive, alcoholic stepdad who constantly yells a lot. I look at my parents and see that they're miserable and I can't help but be cynical.
Sometimes, I am guilty of self-doubt, unconfidance and "testing" his committment by making remarks like yours. But I have to remind myself that these are times when I'm feeling emotional anyway and not thinking clearly. But I very much feel that I don't deserve him during those times... and that can be hard on me.