Martian

I think this is what it comes down to (picked one of several here). There's two components to driving : being aware of your vehicle and being aware of the other vehicles on the road. It all comes down to awareness and attention.

You ned to be aware of what the vehicle you're driving is capable of and what the vehicles around you are capable of. For example, I always give 18 wheelers a wide berth when possible and never sit behind them; I'll either speed up and get ahead or slow down and stay behind a truck on the road. This is a form of situational awareness, as I know that truckers suffer from limited visibility when compared to passenger cars and while most truck drivers are very good at what they do (due to spending so much time on the road primarily) there are those that aren't and even the best make mistakes. It's my job to make sure I'm not the victim of those mistakes.

I'd say my driving style is close to your wife's, with one important difference. I've never been ticketed and I've never been in a collision in my 7 years of licensed driving (and 5 or 6 of unlicensed driving before that, although to be fair most of that was out in fields where a collision with a cow was much more likely than another car). I chalk this up to awareness; I know my car, I know how it handles in all conditions and I keep tabs on all of the drivers around me.

So yeah, that's what it comes down to. I don't think being a good driver is a function of being timid or aggressive; both types of drivers get into collisions. It's more a result of keeping track of the situation around you, knowing the car you drive and knowing your own limits.