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Originally Posted by Gilda
My main standards are safe, law abiding, and courteous. Her main standard seem to be "ability to operate the vehicle safely in a high risk situation".
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What does she consider a high risk situation? For some people that means responding to an emergency like a tire blowout or losing control on a slippery road. To others, it simply means driving when there are 3 or more cars traveling next to you.
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The driver of the car behind me agreed with her; he began honking after the fourth or fifth car went past.
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Sounds like road rage on his part.
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There was enough room for her to make the turn, and she undoubtedly would have done so. But she wasn't driving, I was. I was also right; there wasn't enough room in between any two of the cars that I felt comfortable making the turn, and it was only a matter of waiting a minute for them all to clear before completing the turn. I saw no reason to take the chance when, at worst, it was a minor inconvenience to wait a minute for it to be safe.
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There is being cautious and there is being an inconsiderate driver. Traffic laws were designed with two things in mind, safety and keeping the flow of traffic moving. Both need to be considered in almost all driving situations. When deciding if a turn is safe I ask myself if I need to rush to get through the turn. If I can make the turn without slamming on the gas or without making the other person hit their brakes, then it is safe. How would that criteria fit your situation?
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If the light turns yellow, and I have room to stop, I stop. She'll try to scoot through on yellow.
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Scary! You are right on this one. Yellow lights are a chance for traffic to clear the intersection. If you can stop safely, you are to stop. Usually, the only time stopping would not be safe is if you have to lock up your brakes to stop.
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I also require a much larger gap to change lanes on the highway than she does; I have on rare occasion missed an exit as a result of not being able to get into the correct lane to make a turn. Again, this seems to me a minor inconvenience, especially as I always allow enough time to get to my destination.
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The way I was taught to change lanes was to watch your mirror. When both headlights of the other vehicle are visible in your rearview mirror, you have enough room. I have found that this gap is actually larger than necessary but I guess for safety purporses, it works. In cases where you missed the exit, were you driving in a familiar area where you knew the exit was coming up soon? If so, you may need to anticipate your needs better and stay in the correct lane instead of trying to pass other cars and miss your exit.
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She does things that irritate me just as much, like driving 85-90 on the interstate (speed limit 70 around here), and generally driving a lot more aggressively, taking turns hard, going through intersections on yellow, not coming to a complete stop at all stop signs, making left turns into gaps half the size of some I'd let go by, and so forth. I see this as risky behavior.
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Driving like this works good at Nascar but not on the roads. This certainly explains her driving record.
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However, I've never been in an accident while driving, and I've never gotten a ticket. She's been in two accidents and gotten three moving violations in the four years we've been together. I believe that this indicates that, despite being more timid behind the wheel, that very quality makes me a safer, and thus, better driver. Her contention is that because she's more "assertive" (I'd say aggresssive) and takes more chances, she's better prepared for an emergency. This might make sense if it weren't for the fact that I have no accidents, and she has two.
So, what makes a person a good driver? What criteria should be used to determine this?
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I would have to say that based on what is here, I would have to judge you the better driver. By what criteria did I make this decision? My main consideration is her driving record. Now, just because you don't have anything does necessarily mean that you don't violate laws. It may just mean that you were never caught. Whether you were caught or not, it shows that your wife has violated the law enough times and in front of enough wrong people to get her tickets. I can't go by accidents because I don't know who was at fault. In my state, all reportable accidents go on your record, fault or no fault. The other thing I used to decide was her reaction to your driving. I said before that there are cautious drivers and inconsiderate drivers. While I think both things need to be considered in each situation, in the end, safety comes first, then being considerate. Your wife ins't thinking of either and is risking you, herself and everyone else with her aggressive driving.