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As a guy, I wouldn't have had a problem with my wife having a stripper at her party. I trust my wife completely and know that she would never have done anything more than watch, dance a little and maybe stuff a few dollars. Hardly something to even consider ending a relationship over. I also agree with your two terms, they both make very good sense.
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin
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