A certain website just listed the ten most dangerous books of the 19th and 20th centuries.
http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=7591
I’m going to have to call “bullshit.” The top ten most dangerous books are –
1. Bill Clinton - “My Life”
With over 1000 pages between its covers, this book is a monster. The sheer mass of this tome makes it a danger to anyone who attempts to lift, tilt or handle it with out a mechanized gantry and qualified riggers.
2. Irene Kassorla – “Nice Girls do and you can too!”
This exploration of women’s intimacy and sexuality was found on our bookshelf when I was in sixth grade. I read all the dirty parts with a raging pre-teen boner before realizing that it was my MOTHER’S book. I still carry the scars from the resulting psychic, Freudian trauma
3. Hunter S. Thompson – “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”
This book led an entire generation of college students to slur, “Heck, Hunter Thompson ate more drugs than this, and he turned out OK. Are you just going to melt into the carpet, or are you going to pass the bong?”
4. God – “The Holy Bible/Torah/Koran”
Disagreements over the various versions of the Abrahamic religious texts have killed more people than we can count. Danger! Danger!
5. Mother Russia – “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion”
Speaking of Jews, this little piece of literary poop certainly didn’t do them any good.
6. Madonna – “Sex”
Published at the height of her popularity and non-stop appearances in my high-school masturbatory fantasies, this book was responsible for a horrifying number of paper-cuts in embarrassing places.
7. Sears – “Basic Home Improvement & Maintenance”
The number of inept homeowners tricked into projects WAY over their heads is staggering. Uncounted nail gun accidents, electrocutions, severe burns, and ladder dives are all the fault of this book.
8. Farley Mowat – “And no Birds Sang”
The harrowing first-person account of a young Canadian infantryman in World War II only serves to reinforce the dangerous myth that Canada has an army.
9. ?? – “The Tibetan Book of the Dead”
I don’t even know what this is. The title alone scares the shit out of me. It must be dangerous. Very very dangerous. Stay away from this book.
10. Charles Dickens – “Great Expectations”
The most boring book in the world. Dangerously boring. Reading, discussing or even recalling the title page of this book will cause a narcoleptic reaction, plunging the victim into a boredom-induced coma. Thisdd ;sodfjl;lkfs dhjggggggggggggggggggggg
Whoa. Sorry. Must have kinda passed out there. Hit my head on the keyboard…gotta go lie down…