Thanks for sharing your story, hiredgun. I know it's easier said than done, but if I were your sister I'd remove the veil and let them all freak out, since eventually I hope they'd get over it (assuming they are rational people, which as an anthropologist, I know I should never assume... or rather, that there is not a universal type of "rationality" across cultures).
As for your comments about being motivated by fear... it's a thought-provoking idea. Perhaps I have only looked back when scared or guilty. On the other hand though, I prefer to think that not everything when I was "religious" was something deceitful and clothed in nice hymns and prayers. Sometimes, when I feel most spiritually connected these days, it's because of a deep sense of love. Love for other people, for life, for what I see as beauty and even pain... that is what brings me to faith again.
So it is not fear of hell, guilt, or loneliness, because I see each of these things as essentially human and not necessarily spiritual... but it is my sense of wonder that brings me to believe again. That there is something so much greater than myself and all of humanity put together. It is this awareness that I puzzle over almost daily, wondering what to make of it, or if anything in fact needs to be done... or if I can just let it exist in my soul, and appreciate its presence without labeling it or judging it as good or bad. That is where I am at these days.
.. hiredgun, incidentally, where is your family from?
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
|