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Old 05-27-2005, 03:56 PM   #50 (permalink)
Hektore
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Location: Greater Harrisburg Area
I know this is way to late to make any real difference, but I think your concerns are well founded abaya and you have every right to feel the way you do, but I also think you should have let him go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shakran
I suppose I'm fairly conservative when it comes to relationships. If he's with you, then he's with you. He does not go out in the middle of nowhere and sleep in the same bed as another woman. Whether he means to cheat or not, the temptation will be there- a temptation that would not exist if he were not in the middle of nowhere with a woman lying 6 inches from him.
Complete avoidance of temptation doesn't build strong relationships or trust. You can build a bridge and claim it the strongest bridge ever built, but if you never test it, you will never know. Relationships are tempered by temptation. For me, saying I'm not to go camping with her is to say you don't trust me. If my intentions are honest, I'm going to be totally about front about all my plans(as he was), and about everything that happened after the fact. She shouldn't be a factor. If she tries something, that is an immediate end to our camping trip and you'll be the first to know what happened. Her trying putting the moves on him isn't cheating, him running with it is. For me, sleeping beside someone is not intimate at all, it can be, but it can also just be sleeping.

Part of being in a relationship is allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and a necesary part. If the person can't hurt you, they can never truly show you they care. If the person can't hurt you, you have no need to be concerned whether or not you trust them not to. I know it's hard, it's one of the hardest things to do - to allow yourself to be vulnerable to another person, but when you find someone who truly cares who you can truly trust, its one of the most pleasing things a person can find.

I doubt any of you need me to spell it out though, you seem to much better at the relationship thing that I am, I don't open communication very well...ahem...Best of luck to both of you (though I don't think you'll need it).

Oh, one last note:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince
Boys play with boys. Girls play with girls. Boys stay on their side, girls on theirs.

And one day down the road, they get married. And fuck. And this is when they can be together. This is the only way.

People don't go camping anymore. In the woods, all alone. In a tent. Must be sexual. It just has to be.
I'm going to have to call total BS on this whole thing. All of my nearest and dearest friends have been 'girls', they just have always listened better and cared more - or at least showed they cared more. Sure I have my buddies that I hang out with all the time, but when I need to talk about something real, I turn to one of my female friends.

And nobody camps anymore? Please, maybe not where you're from but here where I'm at in Pa, I'll go camping at the drop of a hat for any reason. None of the RV crap either. I take a sleeping bag, pocket knife, box of matches, and a fishing pole. The tent comes only if it's supposed to rain. My friends are all the same way. Weekend trips, maybe some food, sometimes not (psuedo-macho competition seeing who will ask about bringing food first /sigh)

//sometimes I think my posts are too long *shrug*
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