I've seen a very good example of the differences in parenting. I have watched a little girl for 3 years now. Her parents began their divorce just about the time I started watching her. Now they have 50/50 custody. I can see a distinct in their parenting styles and a very direct correlation in her behavior. The mother is a teacher and has had practice at discipline. She gives the daughter a daily schedule, rules (and enforces them consistently, and good food. The father enjoys indulging the girl and allows her to go to bed when she falls asleep, lets her sleep in, and lets her pretty much eat what she wants. When she throws a tantrum he gives in. I've rarely seen her throw tantrums for the mother and when she has the mother has not given in. When she is coming during a week when Dad has her she frequently throws a tantrum within about 30 min of arriving. It's almost like clockwork. Then once I enforce our rules here, give her the timeout or appropriate punishment (like removing a toy or turning off the TV) she will usually fly through the rest of the day without balking much. When I have her on weeks when the mother is here she usually arrives tired and needs time to be quiet but rarely throws a full blown screaming tantrum like she does on Dad's weeks. The parents are both loving and caring. One has rules and the other does not. The daughter is in general happier WITH the rules than without even though she loves both parents. No one can say Dad is wrong necessarily for indulging her but I would say, based on her behavior that Dad's choices aren't the BEST for the daughter.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
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