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kel · 05-26-2005, 11:08 AM

Acetylene on Kel's computer, doesn't know Kel's login info, so doesn't want to log him out (mods forgive me!):

Uptown, how could you say such a cruel thing! 20 pounds is NOTHING. For most women all 20 pounds means is a nice round ass, nice round titties, and nice comfy cuddles. Twinkle is FAR from grossly overweight and I am willing to bet money that she has several body areas which actually are improved by the extra weight, which her fiancee should be noticing and commenting on.

Twinkle, about your comment that it's his job to make you feel loved: my counselor always used to tell me that no one could MAKE anyone feel anything. But, they can give someone a reason to feel a way. Your fiancee does have the obligation to express his love to you, in a way that you an understand. It is his responsibility to learn to speak your love language; the reverse is also true (example: my father doesn't think I love him unless I critisize his eating habits--I have to tell him he's not drinking enough water at least once a month or he gets all depressed and thinks I don't care).

It does you no good for him to sit there, loving you desperately, but never saying a word. My ex may or may not have loved me--he certainly complained when I left him--but he was similarly unexpressive, so I couldn't tell. Eventually I got irritated with a relationship where I felt like a mere convenience, and I left.

You might be able to change this now, but I'd recommend premarital counseling. you can get a good price if you do this through the church, and they will support you 100%. A problem like this will probably need external help and guidance because it requires a change in the way the two of you relate, on a very fundamental level. I would not recommend you marry this man unless he succeeds in learning to express his love in a way that you can understand; you do not want to be trapped with an unloving husband 40 years down the line!

Lest I sound too harsh, let me reaffirm: even if you are as ugly as sin, someone who loves you will find you beautiful. It's a sort of glowing, starry-eyed, pink goggles beautiful, but it counts, and if he loves you, he will see you this way. Society's objective standard of beauty means nothing between a man and a woman when there is love to do the makeup.

05-26-2005, 11:08 AM	#56 (permalink)
kel WARNING: FLAMMABLE Location: Ask Acetylene	Acetylene on Kel's computer, doesn't know Kel's login info, so doesn't want to log him out (mods forgive me!): Uptown, how could you say such a cruel thing! 20 pounds is NOTHING. For most women all 20 pounds means is a nice round ass, nice round titties, and nice comfy cuddles. Twinkle is FAR from grossly overweight and I am willing to bet money that she has several body areas which actually are improved by the extra weight, which her fiancee should be noticing and commenting on. Twinkle, about your comment that it's his job to make you feel loved: my counselor always used to tell me that no one could MAKE anyone feel anything. But, they can give someone a reason to feel a way. Your fiancee does have the obligation to express his love to you, in a way that you an understand. It is his responsibility to learn to speak your love language; the reverse is also true (example: my father doesn't think I love him unless I critisize his eating habits--I have to tell him he's not drinking enough water at least once a month or he gets all depressed and thinks I don't care). It does you no good for him to sit there, loving you desperately, but never saying a word. My ex may or may not have loved me--he certainly complained when I left him--but he was similarly unexpressive, so I couldn't tell. Eventually I got irritated with a relationship where I felt like a mere convenience, and I left. You might be able to change this now, but I'd recommend premarital counseling. you can get a good price if you do this through the church, and they will support you 100%. A problem like this will probably need external help and guidance because it requires a change in the way the two of you relate, on a very fundamental level. I would not recommend you marry this man unless he succeeds in learning to express his love in a way that you can understand; you do not want to be trapped with an unloving husband 40 years down the line! Lest I sound too harsh, let me reaffirm: even if you are as ugly as sin, someone who loves you will find you beautiful. It's a sort of glowing, starry-eyed, pink goggles beautiful, but it counts, and if he loves you, he will see you this way. Society's objective standard of beauty means nothing between a man and a woman when there is love to do the makeup. __________________ "It better be funny"