I'll add my two cents worth on the subject.
We have the his, hers, ours thing going on here. We also have custody of all of the kids which equal 5. Four of the children still live with us. My husbands oldest daughter is 17 and didn't like the rules and expectations, so she left to go live with her mother about six months ago. Since she left, she has started smoking, drinking, skipping school and runs around wild because there is no supervision. Her mother has 8 criminal cases open against her. We tryed to get her back but got no help from the police, social services. Nobody would help and we don't have enough money to go into court.
As you can probably tell, my husbands ex is in the girls lives. She is ordered to pay $60 per week for two teenage girls (we hold insurance) and we haven't seen a dime in almost two years. She expects me, the new wife to do all the running for the girls like taking them to the doctor, even when she has them on her weekend. She expects me to be the mom and her to have the title. Which is fine, they are my children. I may not have given birth to them, but I'm still their mother and I love them like my own.
On the other hand, my ex is also in the kids lives. We have a great relationship. We just weren't ment to be married. He however probably would be just fine not seeing the kids. I push the issue because they love their father and miss him. He is very good to them when they are at his house. But if I didn't call to set up visits, he wouldn't make the effort. He does however pay child support and have insurance on the kids.
I believe that the kids well being should be first. I don't care much for stats. Kids are what we make them. If you raise them to be criminals they will be criminals. If you raise them to be loving law abiding citizens, then thats what they will be. (Usually)
They key is no matter what, let them know unconditional love and forgiveness for their mistakes. Maybe I'm off the suject a bit, but sparked some feelings on the subject of divorced parents and the best for the kids.
|