Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Wisdom: via personal experience/mistakes vs. imparted experience/mistakes

abaya · 05-24-2005, 03:50 PM

Thanks Cyn for starting this thread. Good to hear people's opinions...

I very actively sought out mentors throughout high school and college... I mean, I worshiped the ground that my teachers, coach, and professors walked on. They had lives that I wanted.Part of this was because my own parents were such horrible examples of a lot of things, and they were the last people I wanted to look up to. So I gravitated to people whom I saw as being wise and experienced (they were, almost all of them), and learned as much as I could.

Then I went to Iceland, and grad school, and tried things out, made a few mistakes (all while single, which I think is a different situation than when in a committed relationship). There was one huge mistake (which was preceded by several smaller mistakes, but that's the nature of these things--I didn't see it coming), but otherwise I feel like I learned what I needed to learn from my mentors, rebelled a bit, and came back to understanding where their wisdom came from.

So I learn from my own experience when necessary, but I still listen to others' experiences and respect it if their argument is sincere and well-founded. Unless my gut feeling tells me that these people are trying to sell me something, or that they are just plain naive, I try to respect them and see if what they say will work for me. Sometimes it doesn't work, so I take my own route. I don't think it means I'm "boring," but jesus, I'm not going to willingly bring pain on myself if it can be avoided.

As my parents have grown up a bit themselves, I'm learning to listen to their reflections too, since now they see how stupid they were in the past and they are quite willing to talk about what NOT to do. It's helped me respect them more over the years, and I think they respect me more for taking my own way. Everyone's different, I guess.

05-24-2005, 03:50 PM	#10 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Thanks Cyn for starting this thread. Good to hear people's opinions... I very actively sought out mentors throughout high school and college... I mean, I worshiped the ground that my teachers, coach, and professors walked on. They had lives that I wanted.Part of this was because my own parents were such horrible examples of a lot of things, and they were the last people I wanted to look up to. So I gravitated to people whom I saw as being wise and experienced (they were, almost all of them), and learned as much as I could. Then I went to Iceland, and grad school, and tried things out, made a few mistakes (all while single, which I think is a different situation than when in a committed relationship). There was one huge mistake (which was preceded by several smaller mistakes, but that's the nature of these things--I didn't see it coming), but otherwise I feel like I learned what I needed to learn from my mentors, rebelled a bit, and came back to understanding where their wisdom came from. So I learn from my own experience when necessary, but I still listen to others' experiences and respect it if their argument is sincere and well-founded. Unless my gut feeling tells me that these people are trying to sell me something, or that they are just plain naive, I try to respect them and see if what they say will work for me. Sometimes it doesn't work, so I take my own route. I don't think it means I'm "boring," but jesus, I'm not going to willingly bring pain on myself if it can be avoided. As my parents have grown up a bit themselves, I'm learning to listen to their reflections too, since now they see how stupid they were in the past and they are quite willing to talk about what NOT to do. It's helped me respect them more over the years, and I think they respect me more for taking my own way. Everyone's different, I guess. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran